2015, I am happy to see you go. As I reflect on what made you such a challenging, and expansive, year, I feel the yearning of the newness of energy and change 2016 will bring. Here is my year in review…
Personal & Relationship Review: Let’s start with what’s most important to a sex, relationship and intimacy coach such as I…my sex, relationship and intimacy. I personally believe it starts with me and my personal work, then carries on to what I can teach and coach and share with others.
- The early months of 2015 brought Ian and I closer together, and the most aligned in connection and vision and co-creation yet. We worked with couples together, studied and practiced Law of Attraction together, and expanded our sexual practices and orgasms together while envisioning a flourishing business.
- I was so happy. I could simply taste the sweet nectar of my dreams flowing in my body and soul. Have you ever been so close to something you wanted for so long that you feel you can actually smell and taste it? This is what it felt like to be actualizing my greatest desires. I was flying high, even in the midst of financial hardship. I manifested owning my property longer when it was threatened. I actualized money in the nick of time to pay much needed bills. I stood for and owned my pleasure, while I also worked myself harder than I ever have in many ways. Not something I am proud of by the way. It’s taken time to recover my feminine side again. Through the ups and way more downs, our lovemaking and connection were the much needed substance I relied on to keep going.
- Then it all changed. It was slow and drawn out at first, subtle but known. Then over time it became more apparent, and intimately agonizing. My ideal partner decided he did not know who he was, or what he wanted. He questioned everything in his life, all over again. I thought he had completed that experience after moving out previously, twice. I thought that now we were back together solidly, planning and beginning, finally, to build our dreams. But when your partner is unsure, and vacillates often, about what they want, including you, it puts a huge damper on any progress towards moving your lives forward together, obviously. It’s also one of the most painful experiences, especially if you allow it to effect your daily life.
- My sex, relationship and intimacy, quite frankly, became what most normal people would consider enough, maybe even more than enough, but it wasn’t nearly enough for me. I was starving within the confines of monogamy. Sure we were practicing OM (Orgasmic Meditation) when I asked for it, and sacred spot massage when I begged for it, and sex when it was direly needed. But there was less and less kissing, and other forms of play and sex, that I prefer a regular and steady diet of.
- We lost a family member. Well, to us she was. His beloved kitty, who had become like my own, too, died suddenly one night. Some couples learn to open and grieve together, and to support each other. This death brought more shutting down, and an inability to face or deal with the grief from my partner, to whom had never lost a beloved feline he raised. I on the other hand, have had so many. I had hoped our beloved kitty leaving would bring more opening and loving rather than closing. But everyone grieves differently, and who am I to judge? It was a horribly sad time for us, and our little kitty family. Yes, are cats are family to us. It’s just the way we are.
- With time, came new awakenings spiritually and emotionally. He decided the monogamous restrictions were not working and new expansions were called for in our relationship. The three-some we consciously created only bonded us closer for a few days. Soon it was on to more fighting and less intimacy again.
- During all this time I questioned, cried, and prayed for him “to just get it”. Why did he not want to connect and expand and grow and deepen our sex, relationship and intimacy, rather than call it quits? Eventually, I got it. He doesn’t want the depth, or frequency of sex, relationship(s) and intimacy that I do. “Sex is just not a priority for me like it is for you”, he said. That comment was devastating. I felt like there was something wrong with me at first. But actually no, there is nothing wrong with me. I am a highly sexually alive woman in her sexual prime. I have desires and needs to fulfill sexually, with myself and others. I had written down these needs in a list at the beginning of our relationship. They had not changed. For almost three years I waited for them to happen, many times I tried to make them happen. In the meantime, my Tantra room became a TV room. I grew whiny, resentful and bitter. I drank too much wine and ate too much and really lost it at times. I did not much like my behavior.
- I have come to face and accept now that I am voracious, when it comes to my desires and appetites, and I don’t want to spend my life accepting less. I want to actualize more of meeting them. There will always be a wanting for “more”, I recognize this is simply the nature of manifesting on this earthly plane. It’s really the beauty of it, rather than the problems or overindulgence, or selfishness, or any of that nonsense.
- I have an entirely different perspective than he does, as to why sex and intimacy and now relationship is not a priority for him. But my opinion doesn’t matter anymore. Now we have completely different visions for our futures, and lives, that it’s time to individually pursue. So here we are, consciously and lovingly uncoupling. It’s still very painful and raw. A real learning experience daily. I understand so much more of what it feels like to be in a partnership where your sexual appetites and intimacy requirements don’t meet.
- I also understand how much more appreciation I should have bestowed upon him all along, for everything he did and does do. He is a remarkable and amazing man, and has been my best friend, and always does/continues to do so so SO much for me! That makes it harder. Yet, I understand that we are soul mates, and we are at a point in our lives where what we want is too different to remain as life partners.
- We continue to OM, to do connection practices I teach clients, and to less occasionally make love to run our energy together. Our energy continues to have its own unique and spectacular quality and essence that we have co-created these past 3 years, through our sexual and healing practices. There is simply no lack of love between us. Just a whole lot of other problems I would love to work on and heal, but there comes a time when if the other person has had one foot out the door, there is not much left to do but face it.
- I am owning that I am not normal, nor do I do normal well. I tried to become more “normal”, more in line with societies norms and institutions this past year. I lost my best girlfriend, lover, and colleague, along with other colleagues, and relationships with ex’s (I hate that word/concept!) from my life as a result. I chose to give up on a lot of things I desired, in order to fit into the more “normal” that I had been asked to. That same ex-female lover gave me a sign that has hung in my kitchen for years, it says, “Masquerading As A Normal Person Day After Day Is Exhausting.” Yeah, it really was utterly exhausting.
- At first I thought I must be a failure as a coach and teacher, too. But I am starting to see that is not true. In the midst of all of this, I have grown expanded and evolved into a better, wiser, and more sensitive teacher. All of me has opened, and closed, and opened wider, and shut tight, and opened and expanded and exploded. I have had more awakening orgasmic Kundalini experiences during this time than I did during my Tantra training, or any other time in my life. I have come to truly relish in knowing that there is “no healing without feeling” and that “orgasm really is the best medicine!” I am awake and wide open and ready for my Best Sex & Love Life EVER!
- Which brings me to my reflections now on my business. These awakenings revealed more of the vision for Sacred Temple Arts. The massive energetic experiences I have had merged two aspects or archetypes of the Goddess within me. I continue to be transfigured into something quite new. As I emerge as, and further embody, this new Goddess essence(s), Sacred Temple Arts shall rise to.
Sacred Temple Arts Year In Review…
- I took my first biz course, it was called Build It. Grow It. Love It. (check it out here http://elainewellman.com/build/) It was a wealth of valuable information I am still slowly digesting and integrating. Thanks Elaine Wellman, marketing and mindset mentor, for the great presentation and volume of resources, it was just the way I needed it. And I made a new friend and colleague to teach locally with.
- I became a Wellness Advocate and got certified in Aroma Touch™ through doterra. I received another Access Consciousness certification. This one in the Body Process of Elimination and Eradication of Patterns of Disharmony. The addition of this technique to the Bars sessions, or on it’s own, it seriously amazingly powerful and you should a session in it if you haven’t. (read more about these sessions).
- I retook the Orgasmic Meditation daylong class, uncovered some more unmet needs and desires, and have committed to renewing my practice as not only a strokee, but a stroker. Having an OM (Orgasmic Meditation) with someone other than Ian is next up as a way to addressing more of my needs and desires. He is most excellent at this practice, and had requested in our relationship I only receive from him. In this New Year it is time for me to adjust to experiencing touch and connection with others. Doing so within the safe container and meditation of OM will be a good start.
- I birthed a new website with the help and support of a wonderful Sister Goddess, friend, artist, and emerging web designer. The process was hard, and I learned an extraordinary amount of new information. I was thrilled to have it go live. Then suddenly no one could find me? All website submissions and inquiries ceased. SEO problems? My website sucks? I don’t know. Honestly, and I am still dealing with this situation. In fact I am invoking assistance in this coming year in this arena. Contact me please if interested.
- I advertised in holistic magazines (Spirit of Change and Wisdom) in New England, as well as focused locally through a publication called Cape Ann Coupons, a website called The Bridge, and joined a biz referral group. I vigilantly distributed flyers and marketing material throughout my area, and was told to take the word “sex” out of all of my advertising materials. I did all of this on a shoe string budget, and realized I lost time and money in those endeavors. My intuition tells me this area is too conservative, and those holistic magazines are not my real audience. It’s time for a new business plan that means going bigger and way wider. More news on that to come!
- Our clientele grew despite the above complications. Word of mouth continues to be the best way for us. So please, and thank you in advance, keep spreading the magic of Sacred Temple Arts to others. This past year we helped individuals and couples, in person and in Skype sessions and intensives, to heal from affairs, to renew marriages sexually and intimately, and to open and expand orgasm, connection, and communication. We supported those who were uncoupling. Empowering and giving new tools to those who were clearing and releasing past relationships, healing, and calling in a new partner. We helped some learn how to date. We taught clients about the differences in the sexes, and how to appreciate the other, and to honor them more. We gave new sexual education lessons, especially on female anatomy and arousal. We supported women in healing sexual trauma, and opening to more pleasure in their bodies and lives. We taught a whole lot of energy expansion through (both Red and White) Tantra of course. We helped parents talk to their kids about sex. We added additional offerings including a new array of holistic healing bodywork sessions such as: Access Consciousness Bars™ and Body Process™, and Aroma Touch Healing are some examples.
- We hosted our shaman friend Kristen Boyer for a class on shamanic journeywork and manifestation, had several Essential Oil and Wellness classes, plus workshops in Awakening and Mastering Your Energy (taught with Meagan Grasso, shamanic reiki practitioner, check her out click here!), and Tantric Intimacy. Contact me if you would like a private or semi-private class in, or group workshop.
- Made my first videos! Click here to check them out! I will definitely get better at this with more practice 🙂
- My first radio interview, click here to listen!
Personal, Relationship and Biz Vision & Goals for 2016
- It is my greatest desire, vision and goal to co-create with the (on his way!) beloved man-life partner-husband to be-of my dreams: remaining in my home by creating the financial abundance necessary to easily buy my mother out of my property, and to organically expand Sacred Temple Arts.
- To continue to create my Best Sex & Love Life ever with my new (I believe he is on his way!) partner, and other souls we choose together to play with.
- To have an extraordinary close family of lovers, including a girlfriend, in addition to my beloved man-life partner-husband to be-of my dreams. Thus expanding and practicing a designed form of not pure monogamy, but also not poly or “monogamish”. I want to start focusing on just our connection and building it, and our home life, before expanding to others too much. It will be so exciting to form our bond, and then to choose together to touch and share it with others together.
- To accept and embody more of my desire for intimacy and connection. To let go of societal paradigms and judgements about “neediness”, “addictions”, “selfishness”, and “wanting too much”.
- In turning 40 next month, to live and breathe the fullness of who I AM as a Goddess (infinite being in a physical form) on this planet. And to have way way more FUN as the extraordinary being I AM.
- To continue to lovingly and consciously uncouple with Ian in the best way we can, while evolving and creating our new relationship into something that is truly right for us both, and for the new partners we seek to initiate into our intimate tribe and lives.
- To continue to expand my education through experience and trainings in tantra, sexuality, sex education, sexual healing, intimacy, relationships, OM, sex magic, more healing arts, and Access Consciousness.
- To give my best and all to my clients and to support them in actualizing their extraordinary selves and lives of their choosing.
In 2016, what are you committed to? Isn’t it time you got back your sex and love life? Or started your path to a better sex and love life? Or expanded what your having from better to the best sex and love life? Normal or extraordinary? Which is your choice? The first day of my Tantra training with Charles Muir, he informed us that the “extra” added to the ordinary was of course all it took to be extraordinary, and what did we prefer to be? Well, I choose extraordinary.
May 2016 be your most extraordinary year yet!
XO!
P.S Stay tuned for Valentine’s Day Specials to come! Gift Certificates, too. Be the Best Lover this year!
P.P.S Ian will continue to assist Sacred Temple Arts. His healing, coaching and general brilliance continues to be most welcome by me, and of benefit to our clients. I was astounded this past year at his brilliance and ability to come forth with new ideas and insight into our, and our clients, psyches and experiences. He is a man worthy of being part of my life, my family, and Sacred Temple Arts. He is my right hand man, and provides a great deal of masculine support I very much desire and need currently.
P.P.P.S This is a personal message to my new partner on his way, “I want to explore beyond the boundaries of existence and explode into infinity with you. Ready when you are.” 🙂