True sexiness lives inside your body, not on the outside.
I haven’t always been this sexy. Well actually I was born SEXY; a totally orgasmic little bundle of JOY as we all really are in the beginning. But somewhere around early adolescence, as my body started developing, my mother judged my body constantly as “fat” and “pouty, too big-lips”. She constantly tried to make me feel like there was something wrong with me, and with my body. I say that she is “fat-o-phobic”.
Sexy is an Inside experience.
The culture we live in currently makes many women feel like they aren’t skinny enough, and if you aren’t skinny, then you aren’t sexy. It’s an unfortunate phase that we’re going through, but that’s exactly what it is, a phase. Like clothing trends come in and out of style, so does body image. In the past, curvy women were celebrated and seen as the sexiest kind of women. What we need to do as a culture, and as women, is to love and accept our bodies as they are. If you aren’t owning and loving and fully being in your body, then you won’t be able to radiate the sexy from within.
Real Sexy is all about Inner GLOW
Even now, my mother expects women to get plastic surgery rather than show their age, and she judges all women and all women’s bodies, which means she surely judges her own, all the time. She taught me to judge my own body, and I came to really hate the way I looked with a passion. I would spend hours trying to appease her; with makeup, exercise, diet pills, and worrying about what I was eating. I never got to enjoy anything. I remember being on incredible vacations in places like Greece and Italy, and I was unhappy because I was “too fat” – which when I look back on the pictures, I wasn’t even fat. I just didn’t have a washboard bikini body. I had a belly in my bikini. And that could ruin everything for me.
It’s about Soul. And Consciousness. And Awareness. And BEING more than DOING.
I lived like that for so so many years, and too many people live like that. This all changed for me when I grew deeper into me through the practice and study of tantra. In my Neo-tantra workshops and early trainings, I learned about how I have love handles, and that there was no flesh on a body not to love, from one of my teachers Charles Muir. In a tantra intensive, I experienced naked mirror practices with a partner where we went over every part of our body expressing to them how we felt about and how we saw that part, so raw and real and vulnerable. And I learned so much from this. I learned from Caroline Muir about having Divine Dates with myself, which I still do, and which I assign to my female clients especially, that involves a practice of in a bath loving up and commenting on with appreciation all my parts, all of my parts.
I became aware of how much I love the feeling of roundness, softness, curves. I began to finally, for the first time I could remember, not Hate my belly. I stopped trying to suck her in, or hide her, or eliminate her with death threats. I became able to be naked and not to try and hide like there was something wrong with my naked body. I began to be naked in groups, in tantra trainings being the live demo, many times, and my ex-partner and mother would yell about my being an “exhibitionist” but I wasn’t and I am not. Being the live demo for sacred sexual healing practices in trainings opened up my whole world to include how beautiful others thought my body was/is. I got feedback I had never had before. Lots and lots of positive feedback!
It’s about your orgasms, like how many how often are you having them, and what types are you having, AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, ARE YOU LIVING ORGASMICALLY?
Of course, having your lover give you lots of positive feedback is another way to heal body image wounds. I did have a lover once who used to say “meat for men, bones for dogs” in regards to my body. Another, the first time I disrobed he actually was almost crying at “the incredible beauty of my curves.” As an engineer, he told me how much he loved curves and that I had the most perfect and beautiful curves he had ever seen.
Slowly, over almost a decade of studying and practicing tantra, my body became my home again, and one I liked. Now, I love her, exactly as she is, no matter what she weighs. Tantra helped me discover how to be safe in my body, and how to have more and more and more and more and MORE PLEASURE in my body. I came to love to swim, to sunbathe, to sleep, and to simply be NAKED!!!! In public or not. Now I am like a kid again in my body, My body is SO JUICY AND ALIVE AND HAPPY VIBRANT AND ORGASMIC.
I love her curves and I see the beauty she is. I choose partners who love her how she is, and that do not want to change her. I choose partners who like and choose softness over hardness to melt into. In the shower with a partner he kept repeating “God YOU ARE SO SEXY!” And I realized in that moment, totally naked of course and my hair wet and no makeup, I TOTALLY AM.
I AM A GODDESS AND I AM SO FREAKING SEXY!!!!!
JUST BY BEING ME.
I AM SEXY AND SEXIEST JUST BY BEING ME.
BE YOU. YOU BEING IS YOU BEING SEXY. THE SEXIEST YOU BE.
Exactly as you are now, nothing needs to be changed. Just tune into who you really are and BE you. Sexy comes from inside out. It comes out from your insides, you exude it, when you are loving and accepting of your body (and you) as it and you be.
If I could take back one thing in this life, it would be all the years I was miserable because I hated my body so much. That sweet amazing teenage and twenty then thirty something body. How could I hate her so very much?
Remember, Your Body Is Your Sacred (Sexy) Temple!
Treat it as such. Your body is not your enemy. Love up your body and feed it pleasure and touch and love every day. Listen to your body. Your body doesn’t lie, but your mind sure does. To truly radiate sexy, you have to love your body, you have to be in your body fully, you have to know your body intimately.
I love my body now.
Do you love yours?
Can you learn to love yours?
I can help if you need it.
I offer coaching sessions and practices to help you own and claim and heal your body, to get your life back.
To get your SEXY ON!
From deep within you.
The REAL SEXY.
Let’s bring it out!
It’s already in you. It just may be covered up with judgements and shitty opinions, yours and others.
Learn to love your body.
Just do it.
You will be not only so happy you did, but you will become more orgasmic, radiant, and even younger, too!